I'm cheating with the post today because I'm tired, and it's freezing out here. But I think the All-Drug Olympics might be the best anti drug campaign ever run. Few kids want to grow up to be a punchline, or an international joke. Except for the 'Paris-ites', stupid girls who are "competing" to become Paris Hilton's next best "friend". That show makes my skin crawl. That, and Toddlers & Tiaras. There's a facebook group that has started trying to get it shut down.
Even though the World Anti-Doping Agency views pot differently than performance-enhancing drugs and only sanctions athletes for a positive test that occurs during competition periods, perhaps it’s time they actually did take a stand on recreational drugs and make an example of athletes who get stoned. Of course there’s really only one way you can do that: start an All-Drug Olympics.
Sure, swimming after an ounce of weed would be pretty boring with all those people underwater looking at their hands and pretending that they’re dolphins, but I would love to tune in to watch Greco-Roman wrestling on ecstasy or a 67-hour crystal meth relay race. Maybe you could add obstacles like contaminated needles for them to jump over. Best of all: you could still hold it in Vancouver in 2010 since that’s pretty much what it’s like downtown already!
If you aren't familiar with this show, it's about those horrifying baby beauty pagents. It's all helpless toddlers whored up by their unhappy mothers - who are almost all mulleted, overweight women in pleated jeans. They put their kids in beauty pagents because they feel ugly and want to think that something pretty could come from them. You know what they need, TLC? NOT a show about the pedophelia-pandering baby ho show. They need Stacey and Clinton. I bet they'd feel much better after a makeover. They might even de-whore their innocent 2 year olds and let them play like normal kids.