January 19, 2009

Much nothing about nothing

It was a balmy -14 today, so we went toque-less. It's practically spring :)

Nothing much happening, except I have the sore throat now, and I'm the one refusing to gargle pee. There's something about being 5 blocks from a pharmacy that makes it seem a bit extreme.

What else? I had some great parking spots today, right in front of Loyola and tonight I found a spot on the right side of the street, so I don't have to move the car til Wednesday. It's all very exciting.

You know what's actually exciting, though? Waiting for the inauguration of Barack Obama. When I get feeling depressed about the rampant stupidity of people, just looking at him gives me hope. I think I'm going to redecorate the living room with Obama posters. In fact, I bet I can get Obama anything over at Etsy.

The last 2 weeks have been full of retail stupidity. Here are my favorites.

Stupid girl "It's my dad's credit card, he said I could use it."
Me "I can't accept any credit card unless the cardholder is here to sign for the purchase."
Stupid girl rolls her eyes, heaves a sigh and pulls out a wad of $50's. "Well, fine, I can pay, but my dad had better pay me back for these books, that's all I can say." And can I assume once she becomes whatever it is she's in school for, she will be reimbursing him for the cost of raising her?

To the multitudes that are talking on their cell - it's rude. Get off, and listen to me when I explain the return policy, or you will become one of the stupid guys & girls we get by the dozens asking "Can I return this without the receipt?"
No. No, you can not. Where on this earth can you do that, you idiot?

Stupid girl "I want to return this. It's new"
...Not after you've highlighted the entire first chapter, hon. And don't tell us you're dropping a course called "Human Sexuality" and returning the textbook called "Human Sexuality" because you didn't know what the class was about. Seriously.

To all the clueless who walk into the store, hand me their book list and say "I need these..."
I am not your personal shopper. Walk your ass around the store and pick up the books your damn self. Yes, princess. That means you and your nasty fake fingernails. Don't roll your eyes at me.

My very, very favorite stupid girl was the one who wanted to buy a calendar for 50% off. You've all seen calendars, right? You know how the back of them shows all the pictures for the months, so there are no surprises....

Stupidest girl "If I don't want this, can I return it?"
If you don't want it, don't buy it. How can life get any easier? These people are why they have to print instructions on each individual toothpick wrapper.

Thank god I'm done in 3 days, so you won't see me on the evening news being arrested for brutally attacking stupid students with a stapler. We have some good heavy ones at work, and by god is it tempting.


Angela said...

Love this post! I deal with stupid people all day too! The bad thing is, they assume that I am the stupid one because I work in a restaurant. Little do they know my brother owns the place and I work there for him not because I am uneducated.
Cell phone thing drives me nuts...really do people not have manners anymore!

Sue Jansen said...

OMG Lisa, I love you and miss you.

This is my way of keeping in touch with your inner bitterness I came to know and love!


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