The black cat had stink eye tonight. I don't know what was wrong other than that she wouldn't open her right eye and it was runny. So I wiped the goo away and tried to look at her eye. Squirmy cat + stink eye = big fun. I didn't see anything. Waited a half hour and tried again, wiped the new goo away, saw nothing obvious sticking out of her eyeball and took the only rational course of action. I googled "Cat runny eye" (It's what I do. I have no doubt that one day I will find myself googling "survival zombie apocalypse" or worse "adult diapers"). I found out that most likely, if its clear goo (which it was) that she may have a cold if her nose is dry, or a blocked tear duct, or just something in her eye that has to be 'teared' out. If its greenish yellow do not pass go, go directly to the vet.
Thank god it wasn't green. And she's got both eyes open now which is a huge relief because I'm unemployed and on a fixed budget of "don't spend any more money". Of course I would have taken her to the vet but I'm bloody glad it didn't come to that.
PS. Kudos to 'anonymous' for the poem. Anyone who takes the time to rhyme their comments should get a cookie. Too bad you're anonymous ;)