Day 4

We left the Travelodge in Thunder Bay @ 11, went to Dunkin Donuts for breakfast and had the slowest sandwich maker in the world get us the first vegetables we'd eaten in days. Granted, they came with a lot of bread and meat, but some is better than none. On our way out of town, there's a huge line up by the side of the road - some radio station is giving away free gas, and they've got the barely dressed girls out in force to promote it. But the line looks like it'd take about an hour to get through, so we pass.
Then the Mist hits, and we can't see a thing. Is this normal around the great lakes, or have we stumbled into Stephen King territory?By day 4, I am sick of driving, and we're making good time, so we stop often today. There's also more to stop for - lakes everywhere. There are so many lakes, they're running out of names for them. We pass by, in quick succession, Dad Lake, Baby Lake and Mom Lake. A few miles later - Orphan Lake. Perhaps he can be adopted by the parent lakes up the road.

Here's Lake Superior, or rather, a tiny tiny portion of it.

This is 4 photos poorly stitched together.

We passed Winnie The Pooh, not sure why, I thought he came from Winnipeg, but anyway...


We see one deer today, just as we're coming out of a construction zone. He waits for us to stop and bounds across the highway. That's all - there's NO roadkill today!
high 5's: 1
Caffeinated beverages: 5

We stop in Marathon to gas up, and because we want to find a campground tonight, we hit a grocery store.
"I refuse to eat any more bread. NO BREAD, do you hear me?!?!"
"Smokies?"
"I'm not paying thirteen bucks for a can opener! Find pop-tops."
"Where the hell are the forks? WHY don't they sell forks here?...OK, we're buying 200 plastic forks."
"Chili and beans?" "We'll keep each other warm tonight."
That's pretty much how it went.

We wanted to make it to Wawa by nightfall, and we luck out and see a sign for a campground, and end up in the lovliest spot ever.
(Can't for the life of me remember the name of the place....Wawa RV Campground? It's a yellow and red sign, anyway. That's helpful.)

This one is Gord, getting fancy with the photography.

All I know about Wawa is that it's home to one ex-Flame, Chris Simon. You can see why he's so angry when he has to leave it. It is so quiet here, you can hear the river and it is barely moving. Even the birds call a little quieter.

And we're camping. We have a tent. I thought I packed some matches in our 'camping box' that's in the back of the CRV, but I didn't. The good matches are somewhere in the middle of the UHaul, and I'm not opening that can of worms. Luckily, I found an old survival candle from Cosmos, and it has a pack of very old crumbly matches. We have an air mattress and sleeping bags. We have a pack of damp firewood. We have wiener sticks.
So, clearly, we are not prepared to camp. We should have lighter fluid, a bbq, a lantern, a hatchet. We have none of these things. To top it off, we made some silly assumptions, like that there would be a grate over the fire pit on which to put our cans of chili and beans to warm them up. There isn't, but that's not going to be an issue if we can't get the fire started.

And here begins the politest fight Gord and I have ever had. I told him not to start the fire without me, and he agreed. I then started the fire without him. (which was wrong, and I'm sorry). The fire was going. Gord poked and poked until it went out. Gord started another fire. I poked and poked until it went out. We are very polite about poking each others fires out, "Oh, I just want to put this piece...ooh, what a shame. Perhaps if I...uh oh, now it's out. I'm so very sorry, dear." "that's quite alright, I'll just let you start it again?"
We've never shied.....ok, I'VE never shied away from a fight before, so why the reticience? Maybe because we are more than 2000 kilometers from anyone we know. Maybe because literally fighting with fire could cause scarring. Either way, we're both more pissed off and more polite than we've ever been with each other. It's a strange mix.

What finally happens is that, in after school special fashion, the fire that lasts is the one we build together. Aaww. (vomit)

We get a fire going, and I immediately rip into the pack of smokies and start cooking. You can tell they're good by the hiss of grease hitting the logs. There's a lot of hissing going on. We pop the tops off our can of chili and beans, and Gord shoves them in the fire. We think for a second, pull them out of the fire, remove the paper from the cans and put them back in the fire. We take a drink from our coke cans and top it off with rum (which of course I remembered to pack with the camping stuff. I told my uncles I'd remember I was an Albertan, and no real Albertan camps sober.Who needs matches? WHERE'S THE RUM?!)

We eat our first smokies, grease dripping off our chins and fingers. We eat our second smokies, dripping on our pants and shirts. Gord pulls the beans from the fire, and we proceed to drip beans on the picnic table and our pants. The same with the chili. We're going to look like dirty, dirty hobos in the morning, but that was good eats.

We put the fire out and go to bed, and some time during the night realize - the air mattress has a slow leak. Ah well. Those were good smokies.

Gas to get this far:
Calgary $33.00 @ 131.9
Medicine Hat $39.00 @ 130.9
Swift Current $40.00 (I'm guessing, we lost the receipt)
Regina $37.00 @ 139.9
Moosomin $34.00 @ 139.9
Winnipeg $40.00 (again, no receipt)
Kenora $42.50 @ 137.0
Ignace $39.80 @ 143.9
Thunder Bay $52.00 @ 143.9
Marathon $44.00 @ 145.0

Day 3

Again, I forgot to give you the best shot of the day, good old prairie sunset.


Do you see the Nefarious Frog God? He was a portent of the night to come, but did we heed the warning? We did not. Let this be a lesson to all you kids out there - don't cross the NFG. You'll spend a sweltering night tormented by the Judds and mosquitos, and wake to find this:


That's the Cat Sass Tavern. And beside it is the L'agimodiere Restaurant, where you can get steak & eggs for $6.49, and the coffee is heavenly. Its the kind of place where the locals will grab a pot and fill up everyones mug while they're at it. Delicious food. Worth going to Winnipeg for.

Roadkill: 11 (one of which was a moose, which was heartbreaking. Little gophers are easier to take, especially because they all seem to be suicidal)
Caffeinated beverages: 4




High 5's: 3

LIVE ANIMALS!! Gord saw 1 scampering little black bear soon after we entered

Hey, it ain't easy getting the shot from a moving car. No time to stop. NO TIME!
Also saw one live deer. Go Ontario, with your wildlife being all alive and such.

Sign of the day: Woman Abuse is a Crime.

Holy shit, Canada. We need billboards for this? Come on.

So, now that we've left the prairies behind and entered Ontario, we can see why everyone thinks the prairies are flat. They are, but for 2 kids from the prairies, they don't look so flat. Ontario is very pretty, lakes everywhere, and these inukshuk guys:


After driving this far, I haven't really seen any place in Canada that isn't pretty. We have a very pretty country, at least for the mile or so on either side of the Transcanada. There isn't anywhere that I wouldn't consider living, except maybe here:


And we're headed for Thunder Bay, which we make in good time and are able to find a Travelodge that allows pets AND has a room. Perhaps we've shaken the curse of the NFG.
It rained a lot in the last 2 days though, and that's when we notice that the tarp covering the mattress has come loose and the mattress got a bit wet. Damn duct tape. I guess we didn't use enough.

So we get an actual bed for the night, and showers, and internet access...oh, it was good times.



Gas to get this far:
Calgary $33.00 @ 131.9
Medicine Hat $39.00 @ 130.9
Swift Current $40.00 (I'm guessing, we lost the receipt)
Regina $37.00 @ 139.9
Moosomin $34.00 @ 139.9
Winnipeg $40.00 (again, no receipt)
Kenora $42.50 @ 137.9
Ignace $39.80 @ 143.9

Day 2

Whoops. Forgot to mention the incredible sunsets you get in the prairies. See above.

I can't say how Gord felt that morning, but I woke up in a motel in Swift Current Tuesday morning thinking "What have I done?! I left my friends and family for this? Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit..."
But we press on, stopping for gas and Tim Hortons. We start each day unsure of how far we're going to make it, and we don't have any reservations anywhere except in Montreal for the night of the 30th, to see E.S.T. at the Jazz Festival. We're aiming for Winnipeg today.

A light rain starts as we leave SC and continues for the next 4 hours. Swift Current...we wouldn't go back. But the coffee was excellent. Also, I heard that terrible song "I Kissed a Girl" on Saskatchewan radio. I didn't think they were that progressive out there. My brain is just a big knot of stereotypes, slowly being unraveled on this trip.

We pass Moose Jaw and there is indeed a moose. Witness the mooseyness of that moose, bein all moose-like.



When we hit Regina...The Apocalypse, Uber Rain. Took pictures, but they don't do it justice so I'm not going to post them.

Roadkill: 25. 25?!?! Shame on you, Saskatchewan.
Caffeinated beverages: 6
High 5's: 4

Sign of the Day:
Life is sacred, from conception to natural death.

A trend is starting, the sign of the day goes to the one that gives us the most willies. We see another "Life is Sacred" sign later that says "Take my hand, not my life".

"What's all this Christian propoganda on the side of the road?"
-Gord

The sign says
"Dam Days August 1,2 2008"
and under that
"Wolseley
Town Around a Lake"

Oh Saskatchewan. Your utter lack of personality is adorable, you know that? Who's a cute little province?

396. I don't think we'll make it today, but I'm wrong. Oh man am I wrong. We enter Manitoba and just keep driving. By now, it is pretty flat, and the road just goes on and on, with nothing to really break it up except religious billboards and gas stations. For some reason in our log book, we've written

"What colour do I want? Brown!...It's coffee, not doo-doo". And I can't remember why Gord said that, or why we thought it was so hilarious.
(*edit...Gord just came in and cleared this up for me. He was discussing what flavour toffee he wanted.)

We enter Winnipeg at about 11, and drive right through it without seeing the Travelodge I thought was supposed to be there. We spot one on the eastern limits of the city and think we're home for the night, but no. This one does take pets, but they don't have any 'pet friendly' rooms available for the night, and since the cats are still pretty freaked, we wanted to stop somewhere and let them out, see if they would finally eat something.
So we pass on the Travelodge. Looking back - bad idea. We exit the city, thinking there would be motels and hotels on the east side of Winnipeg, and we'd just pick one of them. Ha.
There are no hotels. We gas up at a PetroCanada on the edge of Winnipeg, and there are no lights off in the distance that we can aim for. This is my fault. As we entered the city, I told Gord to text our families and let them know we were staying in Winnipeg for the night. So we keep driving, and driving, and finally about a half hour, 45 minutes out of Winnipeg we see a truck stop next to a restaurant that is closed, but it's far enough from the highway, and we're tired so we stop.

We do our best to get comfortable in the car, but it's not easy. The night is hot and muggy, the cats are climbing over us and the mosquitos are out in force. Gord is in the passenger seat, wrapped up entirely in a blanket as protection from the mosquitos (looks like he's wearing a burka) and I'm on the back seat. Gord is singing "Love can build a bridge" in his best Cartman impersonation, trying to get comfortable when I see him bolt up out of his seat to flail ineffectually at the mosquitos, screaming
"I will bathe in the blood of my enemies!!...Technically, it's my blood."
And I think I giggled myself to sleep. Beat that, Travelodge.

So ends day 2.

Gas to get this far:
Calgary $33.00 @ 131.9
Medicine Hat $39.00 @ 130.9
Swift Current $40.00 (I'm guessing, we lost the receipt)
Regina $37.00 @ 139.9
Moosomin $34.00 @ 139.9
Winnipeg $40.00 (again, no receipt)

Day 1

Starting from Calgary

Gord looking thrilled about this.

We were tired, and in less than stellar moods, so we didn't even bother to get a picture of the whole rig, Honda + UHaul. But it's there. We would never have got this far without a fight if it weren't for Kevin, who helped us move. Kev's the man, we would never have made it out of Calgary that day if it weren't for him.

Starting Mileage: 277267KM
Gas prices in Calgary: 133.9

We're not sure how far we're going to get today, we don't leave Calgary until 3:30pm and we're already tired...We were up at 7:30 and WE ARE NOT MORNING PEOPLE. We are cranky, and need a nap, but we've got to keep moving on, like the Littlest Hobo.

We're keeping track of:
Roadkill: 7
Caffeinated Beverages: 6
High 5's: 2.5
Sign of the Day: "Free Spirit Taxidermy"
(spotted somewhere between Brooks and Medicine Hat, I think. We did not get a picture of this, but it's there)


We stop in Medicine Hat for Gas (130.9, yeah baby), shout out to Earl, who told us we could be in Montreal in a few days....Sorry we let you down Earl. We're lazy.

We head out of Alberta and take this picture, thinking it'll be the last one we see for a while...

But it wasn't. Saskatchewan is not entirely flat. There are some very pretty green rolling hillsides in the province.

"So far, it's not as flat as I thought it would be.
I don't know what the fuck everyone was talking about."
-Gord

We get into Swift Current by 10:30 that night and get lost in the downtown (?) area...it looks like Ogden. We try the Holiday Inn, but they're full, so we end up on the other side of HWY 1 at a motel that we can't remember the name of. The motel doesn't allow cats, so the beasts have to spend the night in the Honda, but they do have...

Snazzy Religious Indoctrination! Hell yeah ;)

And about 10 minutes after getting our bags into the room, we have fight #1, and it's a doozy. We're up til 2AM. I'll spare us the embarrassment of details, especially since it was clear come morning that it was just the stress/tiredness/homesickness cocktail we'd been drinking all day that caught up with us.

Gas to get this far:
Calgary $33.00 @ 131.9
Medicine Hat $39.00 @ 130.9